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Tales of a Nothing Kid

by Ghost Factory

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1.
If all mankind was born equal, why the fuck did I wind up here? Abused, unloved, unnoticed. Opportunities disappeared. And in this unnamed city a drunk man shares his thoughts with his creation, so young, debasement's all he got As he stumbles fourth, he says "for what it's worth, you're a nothing kid, nobody, accident, party-foul, snapped rubber, hopeless case, meaningless waste of space, Boy. You're a Nothing, Kid"
2.
A mommy dearest with her wrist held high, a diet of pills to numb and ease her mind To hate she simply turns a blind black eye, a hollow tone spits out the words "Son, I want to die" What lovely sentiment, a parent heaven sent to guide and nurture an impressionable adolescent The perfect compliment to add to nothingness "don't be afraid" she said "it's not like I'll be missed" Farewell Mommy dearest Some people shouldn't be parents
3.
Ashes to ashes and dust to dust Mourn at the gravestone, come drown with us A drunken dad and his first born cuss Can we hurry this up please, we're in a rush You're assured she's in a better place? That sounds is me laughing in your face While down we dig, a little deeper every step Loud we sing, a little louder every breath Until the sinking's done Dust settles, quiet comes I wish every moment could have been fun I wish there were no hurt and you had won I hope nothing but beauty for everyone Until the final note in your only song
4.
All my peers don't seem too understanding, they're all clones of some archetype Guy All my peers don't ask too many questions, they don't need a reason why Attempt to speak but drowned out by the same joke All these deaf kids waiting to try Drowning in words although nothing has been said and no one looks you in the eye I know I'm no better or so I've been told I know I'm no brighter but I'd like to hold at least one memory close
5.
Best Years 01:59
This one's a death rattle of all the dogmatic thought, so just keep laughing at all the hate speech heard and all the lies you've been taught, their logic lacking We're all just nothing kids, it's that we've never been told, so just keep hoping we make it through this day and write stories to be sold. Just keep breathing now Don't let this define these lives, yours and mine. To have your will shaped would be such a shame They're the bane of culture so lame, they disaffect youth. They're all the same, opinions so tame yet all claim their truth. They'll fade out proclaiming "These are the best years of your whole life!" Or so says some asshole who hates his fat wife. With nothing to show except some pictures of his bros in their sexual heyday at a house party foray, after bathing in Bud Light with the lime added just right, after beating some gay kid because he's dressed different I hate this fucked message, I hope it's a vestige of our fading fashion replaced with compassion, My Friend. Nothing till the end
6.
I've become this bitter jaded man, but you made me this way. My only refuge is this recycled weekend, every single party's the same. So i'll sink inside this bottle my only source for social interaction. As I repel all these beautiful women with my every word and action Chastise myself mid sentence, before I convey my lack of thought Are you turned on by this nonsense? Yes, do you think that my complaining is hot? Cuz I could ramble on for hours and not say one thing. But I'll comfort you with curse words as I continue to drown myself in drink. The prohibition has been over for 70 god damn years yet this is still some fucking achievement so revered here. So fuck off, with your pedestrian accomplishment. I wonder where all the interesting people went.
7.
What Glass? 01:57
I swear one day I'll learn how to speak out-loud when you're around, until that day I'll be estranged by cohesive sentence strains. A confidence I clearly lack. No escaping this fact. Do you all hear the words that I sing? Cuz it seems like you've all stopped listening. But I don't care anymore There was no glass to begin with The contents clearly spilled all on the floor And from this vantage point all that I can see accumulates just short of glass half-full But I'm still drinking And waiting for the sunrise to wake me up from this drunken revere. Until then I'll keep pouring back the moonshine, cupped in palms unclean from ground's debris And I'm still drinking
8.
"Just let me pour another one. This one's for me. Just let me pour another one to help me get to sleep. Just let me pour another one so I can't see this burden that you've left with me who never should have been" A brief lapse passed and he's out on the kitchen floor 'til morning. He'll open his eyes and wish that his whole life were worth fighting for. "I have done my job if Kid's got nothing but fear in him. Cuz nothing says hope and faith like a terror built up from sin." "Just let me pour another one, this one's for me. Just let me pour another one to help me get to sleep." "We're all Nothing Kids, nobodies, accidents, party fouls, snapped rubbers, hopeless cases, we're all a waste of space."
9.
"Would it be alright if I maybe taunted you to sleep or ridiculed you for the way your life turned out? Attack your insecurities so deep. Remember a time you didn't hate your life or pout? You'll whine, complain life's lame, moan, cry and sulk, you kids are all the same. I'll sit perched upon your shoulder, that fairy fuck opposite me is not coming. I know you think your problems weigh more than I will ever give you credit for. But as your conscience I still say that you're a nothing, worthless brat. Would it be ok if I just solidified your self-hatred and your doubts of the devine? You know deep down that search for meaning in this life is asinine. You're just what father said, you've got no hopes no reason you can find to hold credence to hopes that you endlessly try to justify. I know you think your problems weight more than I will ever give you credit for, but as your conscience I still say that you'e a nothing, worthless--" I hate how I will try to instigate debate with my own voice, I'll try to convince, although quite late, that my fate is shapeable and malleable, manipulated only by the rational. A concept oft unfathomable yet forever makes attempts at the intangible. Amid a myriad of deprecation speech, propagated by a household nurturing defeat. I'll never stop 'til I can navigate this fleet and I'm the only one controlling thoughts along this street of mine.
10.
"You are nothing! You are nothing, My Friend" That's what the world will say when you present them with yourself they'll cry "you are voiceless and you are faceless in a crowd" but you don't have to hear a single fucking word they're shouting out. "You are empty, you're just a no good walking void" believe me when I say that heeding that's a path you should avoid. "You don't have value, you serve no purpose in this world". Look, they're may be not much else but at least you can enjoy getting old. "Disappointment. God you're worthless" Echoes softly guiding towards this outcome pre-shaped by my mistakes. Gladly accept blame in your place Cuz we all fall before the final curtain call but we'll all stand tall. An encore remembered by all
11.
Says the Nothing Kid, "my home makes me sick." Glass held aloft to God. "Thanks for my dead end job." Says the Nothing Kid. "Fun is so stupid". Glass held aloft to the room, he yells as his voice booms. "I need you like a fucking lobotomy. Even less than some botched vasectomy or an enema using boiling hot coffee... Am I being over dramatic when I say that I hate everyone and absolutely everything?"
12.
Casual admission accepted, guaranteed, your perception effected. Enlist with your species, this catalog of filth baked over time in stews of indulgence of self. Fermentation of prejudice boiling from man-made hatred and stupidity, the basis of this humanitarian crime, so get in line. Join the parade of the fuck ups, of the inept and of the wasted lives. It's a march of the half-wits, forward facing in a mindless trudge. We are mankind. Notice the emptiness in front of this procession consisting of the collected history, the eternal mystery, and unraveling of 'dumb'. Laid down and buried underground, put to sleep safe and sound. For at least a couple hours until it blossoms and flowers. Examine all sides there's no enemy. We all leave the trenches on the same losing team... The parade of the fuck ups and of the inept. Of the wasted lives. It's a march of the failures forward facing in a mindless trudge. We are Mankind. We could be better, that's the only thing you'll find and all that believe.

credits

released January 27, 2016

Performed by Rob Neil Gruszecki & Charlie Mclean
Recorded, Mixed & Mastered at Evius Studios by Eric Svilpis
Cover Image : Matthew McGuigan
First press from Non-Minutiae Records www.noah-michael.com/nonminutiaerecords/ SOLD OUT

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Ghost Factory Calgary, Alberta

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My name is Ghost Factory
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